Better

Some answers are better left unknown.

Some questions better left unasked.

Sometimes it's better not to know.

Gypped

A few weeks ago I jokingly told my mother that I felt I had been gypped on intelligence. (Reasoning below)

I have begun to think that maybe I was right...

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See, I've got 7 siblings. That means 8 of us total. So here is my reasoning:

Mom knew she was going to have a bunch of kids, so she stored up a bunch of intelligence to give them, and when my oldest brother came along, he got a good dose. (He's wicked smart... CNO at TypeFrag.com or something like that. He also taught for Microsoft.)

Then comes my oldest sister, and she got a good dose too. (Master's degree in some sort of child development/counselling)

Then my next oldest brother, and he got a good dose. (4+ degrees, deployed Navy Reserves)

Then another brother, a good dose for him. (2 degrees, IT support at the corporate offices of one of the biggest car dealerships in Oklahoma. AND musically talented beyond imagination.)

Then another sister, and she got a good dose. (Going for equine surgeon, musically talented.)

Now that's five kids right there, all with good doses of intelligence, and I think maybe mom didn't realize just how much she had given each of them... Because then I come along at number six, and I get the dregs of the lot.

At this point, mom realizes her mistake, and builds up a bunch more intelligence for the next kids to come along. (Too late for me)

Younger brother = Great dose! Smartest of the lot, I think he got intelligence equal to three of the others... 

Younger sister = good dose! 

Both of the younger are currently in college, and are going to go much farther than I ever will.

So I was just the unlucky number 6.

Gypped. :/

Idiocy

...one of the few things I excel at.

I might as well have pulled out my knife and stabbed myself in the chest.

Signature

He looked slowly around the room taking in the faces, letting the silence settle and waiting for someone to speak up. When no one seemed inclined to speak, he made a statement and asked a question.

Twenty minutes later, he put his signature on six pieces of paper.

As he signed them, he suddenly thought "My signature decides how the rest of this man's life will be lived."

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My world was shaken today.

Still trying to shake it off.

Options

I spend the majority of my time one of two ways...

I am either:
1. Being completely ignored
or
2. Being the central focus of awkward and unwanted attention

I much prefer the former, so I'd like to just go and live out my days peacefully in a desert somewhere.

Definitions

Weakness: A luxury I cannot afford.

Happiness: That age-old illusion that deceives all men.

Marriage: Something that I am losing faith in.

Pathetic: Being 24, living at home, having graduated from college with an impractical degree, and going nowhere in life.

Women: A frustrating waste of time.

Hopeless:  Me.

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Not interested in feedback. Just needed to put this out there somewhere.

Thoughts of Love

An excerpt from a book I am reading:

He shook his head. "No, There are many ways to love
someone. Sometimes we want love so much, we're not too choosy about
who we love. Other times we make love such a pure and noble thing, no
poor human can ever meet our vision. But for the most part, love is a
recognition, an opportunity to say, "There is something about you I
cherish.' It doesn't entail marriage, or even physical love. There's
love of parents, love of city or nation, love of life, and love of
people. All different, all love.

Current thought

Hoping is for the weak minded and Someday is for fools.