Holiday Pressures

Sitting here at work on the Friday before Christmas eve. Haven't taken a call all morning, probly won't take more than 5 today. Gonna be a long day...

I think I just realize what it is that I really dislike about Christmas and the entire season, and that would be the pressures that the season brings.

The pressure to decorate, the pressure to cook, bake, do, see, go, be, give, host, visit and on and on and on they go. For most people these pressures are why they do things during the Christmas season.

For the last few years my family has been focusing on reducing the commerciality of Christmas in our home, making the holiday less about THINGS and STUFF and more about the birth of the one who humbled Himself from heaven's glory to become a defenseless babe, grow into a sinless man, and die to be the propitiation for our sins. THAT is what I want my Christmas to be about. THAT is what I want to focus on as the year draws to an end.

This year I am going to continue what I have started doing the last few years; I have begun to mark my life by two major evaluation points, those being New Years, and my birthday. You may ask why, as they are only a few months apart, well my reasoning is as follows. As each year draws to a close, I look back and try to find the things that have been the most influential in my life, I evaluate and decide if these are the things that I want to be shaping me and my character. I look back over who I have changed into, the good I have done, and the not so good that I have done. I try to use my previous year as a road map for the coming year, a guide of what to do and what not to do. My birthday few months later, I re-evaluate my plans and see how things have changed since the year has begun, to see if I am continuing the path that I started, and seeing if I need to make changes. Around my birthday, I also take time to look at my life as a whole. Who I am, who I have been, who I am becoming, and I try to come to terms with my life as a whole. Not necessarily changing anything. Just accepting who I am and purposing to continue to follow God and be who He would have me to be.

But still, I feel the same pressures that everyone else does. I want to give my best friend a gift, and I want it to be something special, because I care about her. I know she is going to get me something, and I know that whether she realizes it or not, she is going to be expecting something.

You may not realize this... But I suck at gifts... I rarely, if ever, know what to get someone... Just know this: If you get a gift from me, it means that I love you and I care about you immensely. Because most of the time you aren't going to get one.

That being said. I still haven't purchased/found/made/decided on a gift for anyone. (Not sure I can even afford any...)

Please know that I don't expect gifts on Christmas. I expect  your love and your greetings, sometimes, your company, and always your celebration in the birth of our Lord.

Christmas is hard for me this year.